Free-Range Chickens

In his riotous debut collection, Ant Farm, Simon Rich found humor in some of life's most desperate situations.

In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy (Is there a face fairy?) and his initial reaction to the "Got-your-nose" game ("Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monster"). He goes on to present Count Dracula's desperate Match dot com profile ("I am normal human looking for human woman to come to castle. I am normal, regular human"). Later, he gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can't understand their masters' compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day.

And in the final chapter, he tackles some of life's biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was. . . .